Affermation on being thankful!

Please don't take this blog post as being preachy. I am writing it for myself to remind me to be thankful.

I am struggling with shopping. I am struggling with my weight loss goals. I am struggling with not eating foods I shouldn't.

I need to remember all the times my children were sick. The days and days of them feeling miserable and laying on the couch doing nothing but watching T.V. in a daze.

I need to remember all the trips to the doctors office. Repeatedly over and over for the same infection. More and more antibiotics that got stronger and stronger.

I need to remember that even the times my children were "well" they were sick. So many times we couldn't do something because Benjamin had a headache or just didn't have the energy to leave the house.

The countless loads of bedding I washed.

The medication my children use to take every. single. morning. I use to make little towers out of the pills and inhalers to entertain my children. Why did I think this was a good thing?

Benjamin's mood swings.

Benjamin's tantrums.

Benjamin pretending to trip over nothing and pretending that he was hurt just for attention (so I thought - yep, a lot of guilt over this one still).

Worrying that I was raising a sociopath.

The trips to the emergency rooms with 105+ fevers, and one trip with a really low temperature.

The nights I would lie awake worrying if this round of medication was going to work. What would happen if they ran out of stronger medication to give my children before they got better?

Sitting beside Zachary's bed watching him sleep because he was struggling to breath with asthma and pneumonia.

What do I have now? 

Zachary is 13 years old and is 5' 9" tall. In the last 2 years he has been on antibiotics one time for strep throat. He has no large patches of warts on the bottom of his feet. He doesn't have problems with nocturnal enuresis anymore. Zachary hasn't had pneumonia since 2012. Zachary doesn't take any medication. Zachary has gone from being obese to a healthy weight.

Benjamin is 12 years old and is 5' 5" tall. I really don't remember the last time he was on antibiotics. I would guess it is pushing 2 years. Benjamin only has mood swings and starts to loose control when he is reacting and then he recognizes it and asks for help. Benjamin is full of energy and I have a hard time giving him enough physical activity. Benjamin rarely has headaches anymore. Benjamin has gone from being obese to being on the skinny side. I make sure he gets as much to eat as he wants. BUT I do not encourage him to eat more (that one is hard for me - and, honestly, he isn't skinny it is just my distorted body image). 

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE.... In 2014 for the first time ever I didn't have to use all my vacation days for sick children and we got to go on an actual vacation. We went to Disney World.

I need to remember these things and let them motivate me.

Best Brownies Ever CORRECTION!!

I HATE it when I get a recipe off a blog and it turns out terrible. Not just a little bad but an absolute disaster and you just know there is no way that blogger has even attempted to make the recipe.

So my sincerest apologies for doing that to you. It was an honest mistake.
 
After I made the brownies of my last post two times. Then I wrote the blog post. I waited two weeks to see if my children reacted. No one did, so I made the brownies again.
 
They turned out terrible! They were really gooey and obviously didn't have enough flour in them.
 
I blamed the bad brownies on Ben (sorry Ben). He had measured out the dry ingredients and I assumed he hadn't measured something incorrectly. I made a second batch and measured everything myself. They turned out exactly the same terrible way, exonerating Ben.
 
Now when I get a recipe off the internet I print it up on an 8x11 paper. Then I proceed with hand writing in all the changes I am going to make. I always cross of the salt. Salt is for the most part not needed in any recipe, it is just their for taste. Next I substitute the flours. A quarter of the flour needs to be a starch. Then the remaining flour I substitute twice as much rice flour. I always start with this mixture and then if I want the recipe moister I will use more oat flour and less rice flour. But this also makes the item more dense and heavy.
 
So if this recipe I did 1/2 cup arrow root starch, 1 cup rice and 1/2 cut oat. Now when I was converting I started to do 1 cup oat and 1/2 cup rice because I like dense moist brownies. However, I scratched out the measurements and changed them to my standard substitution.
 
When I remade the batch of brownies after the batch Ben measured I almost put in 1 1/2 cup oat flour because the "1" wasn't scratched out very well. So long story I must have put in 1 1/2 cup oat flour in the first batch I made.

I made a batch and use 1/2 cup arrow root starch, 1 cup rice and 1 1/2 cup oat flour and they turned out really good (like the first two batches.)
 
So one would think that this is the end just always use 1/2 cup arrow root starch, 1 cup rice and 1 1/2 cup oat flour. But then I made another batch of brownies and they were terrible. So now I really have no idea what is going on.
Currently the good and bad brownie batches stand at 2 good batches, 2 bad batches, 1 good batch, 1 bad batch.
 
Okay maybe I have some idea. The last batch of brownies I used 1/2 cup tapioca starch because I was out of arrow root starch and I had a different type of olive oil than I normally buy. So I am hoping it is one of those two things.
 
I have to go shopping for arrow root starch and olive oil. I will try yet again and let you know.

In the mean time I would NOT recommend trying the brownie recipe I posted.  Sorry for anyone's wasted time and ingredients. I know the ingredients are not cheep.
 
Also, stay tuned for muffin recipes. I have a good banana muffin recipe an I am working on zucchini muffins and carrot muffins.

Best Brownies EVER!

I used this recipe:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/vegan-brownies/

In place of the 2 cups of flour I used, 1 cup rice flour, ½ cup oat flour,& ½ cup arrowroot starch. Also, I used olive oil in place of vegetable oil. Oh, and I added 1 cup of walnuts.

According to Myfitness Pal they have 296 calories, with nuts. (I put them in a 9x13 pan and cut 18 brownies.)

Okay, honestly they were a little on the dry side but I was really pleased with how they turned out for the first try. Next time I am going to try adding a Almond Milk to help moisten them up a little, probably only a couple of tablespoons.

Okay, maybe BEST EVER might be exaggerating. Maybe they were so good because we haven’t had any baked goods (except a B-day Cake) in about 6ish months.

We were once again struggling with a phantom reaction. I call it a “phantom” because I couldn’t figure out what we were reacting to. I still don’t know. I restricted our diet even more and took our even more processed foods, although there weren’t many to begin with. I consider flours, baking powder, baking soda, etc, processed food.

Once everyone was stable and reaction free for a while I slowly started adding things back in. We got back oatmeal, crisp rice, and peanut butter first.

We reacted to chocolate chips (gluten, soy dairy free of course) when I tried to introduce them back. We ate them 2xs and reacted. I am waiting a month or so and trying them again before I say they are out for good.

 

Whole 30 Program - My take

This whole "Gluten & Dairy Free Experiment" that I convinced my family to try on 4/1/2012 has been a journey. I have learned more about nutrition and food additives than I ever wanted to know. Don't even get me started on "Processing Aids".

We started this journey just to see if it would help with Nocturnal Enuresis. The whole family was going to eat Gluten & Dairy Free in support of one member (well secret deals were on the side). It worked wonders for the Nocturnal Enuresis but it made other family members extremely sick when we snuck the secret deals on the side (i.e. splurged and went out to eat).

Finally, I realized that for years what the doctors had told me about myself and my children were wrong. We didn't have environmental allergies, asthma didn't just run in my family for no apparent reason, we weren't just prone to getting sick all the time, etc etc. It was a combination of food allergies and sensitivities.

After two years of failing to accommodate allergies and sensitivities while still eating processed foods I switched us to basically a whole food diet. We do have 7 items that we buy that are minimally processed and they are brand specific. (catsup, bbq sauce, peanut butter, rice noodles, rolled oats, crisp rice, & jelly) Everything thing else is a meat, vegetable, or fruit.  I should mention the meat is meat from the meat department...a slab of meat of some sort. No frozen meat of any type...remember the processing aids I mentioned earlier...they show up here. Fruit is fresh or frozen, no canned (I'm not sure if processing aids or if it is cross contamination is the problem here) Vegetables can be fresh, canned or frozen but no salt or seasoning.

We have been eating like this for 1 1/2 years now. We are all extremely healthy now. We very seldom get sick and even rarer do we need antibiotics. In 2014 each child had to be on antibiotics one time each. (In 2011 had a child on antibiotics 215 days)

So I will take ALWAYS having to cook from scratch and NEVER going out to eat. When I want to make chilly I have to plan 2 days in advance, soak the beans - day 1, cook the beans - day 2, make the chilly - day 3. (After work I only have a limited amount of time) To make banana muffins, grind the rice into flour, grind the oats into flour, mash the bananas...you get the picture.

So when my sister started the Whole 30 Program to loose weight what did I say to her?????

ARE YOU NUTS? WHY WOULD YOUWILLINGLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

She was less than happy with my response (I may have ranted a bit). But then I thought: What if it helps people. Who am I to question if someone wants to eat healthy...even if it only to loose weight...even if they are only doing it for 30 days.

So to all you Whole 30 people (and my sister).....knock yourselves out. I hope you feel better and get what you want out of the program.

After your 30 days I will spend 3 days making chilly in your honor.

Now I remember why I blog.....

I stopped blogging for a while.  If felt like I was a failure because I didn’t do my Dirty Girl Mud Run.  I wasn’t.  I had 3 broken toes. 

Then I discovered hiking…..can I say I just LOVE hiking

Also, I remembered why I wanted to blog….To keep me focused.  I have been forgetting to be thankful when I go shopping.  After I re-read my previous blog post I remember the epiphany I had.  I am thankful I have the means to buy food and I know what to buy to keep my children happy.

I have also resigned myself to the fact that our “safe” foods will be an ever changing list.  I don’t know if the manufactures are changing something or if my children’s sensitivities change.  All I know is that Earth Balance Soy Free Butter and all forms of chips are out now.  They are missed. 

However, my children are happier and healthier than ever.

We survived the holidays.  Christmas was 100% successful.  Thanksgiving was mostly successful. On Thanksgiving we had an extended family dinner.  We tried our best but did have reactions to something.   

So that is where we are.

Mother's Day!

I got up this morning.  Did dishes. Said good bye to the one child that was awake and went grocery shopping.  Only when I was checking out and the guy behind me said he had to go shopping for Mother's Day did I remember it.  Oops.  Hubby and I have an unwritten rule that when it is a birthday, Father's Day or Mother's Day that the person of honor is supposed to sleep in.

I got home and everyone was in the kitchen making breakfast for me.  Not exactly breakfast in bed like planned.

By the way...grocery shopping is going much better now.  I don't hate it.  I am thankful for knowing how to keep my children healthy.  Now if only I had more will power for the times I am alone.  I went out to Chinese food last week.  It was so good at the time but I paid the price.  I haven't exercised for 5 days because I have been sick.  Today I am finally feeling well.

I bought $224 worth of meat, beans, vegetables, fruits, and nuts today.  Well, there were 5, 2 litters of coke, 7 zero calorie sports drinks, brown sugar, almond milk, and vegan soy free butter.  But I think that is all.  (I buy specialty bread, noodles, chocolate chips, rice, oatmeal, and crisp rice at a Foodies which is an hour away.  When I buy these things I buy enough for a month.)

Happy Mother's Day!

Silence..sometimes it isn't golden

I am forcing myself to write this post.

I have to admitt I am struggling with training for my mud run.

I am not losing weight.  This is really making me question myself.

I am still exercising.  Maybe not as hard or as much as I should but some days I surprise myself by how much I do.

One day reciently...I got up and walked/ran.  I took Scooby (16 weeks old now) for a bike ride because I can't run fast enough for him. I went for a walk with one son.  I played tennis with by other son.

So I am active.

I have been really good with what I eat.  There was one bad, bad week.  But I have turned it around.  I am eating good and tracking my calories.

But it is a very hard journey.  I am constantly questioning if I can do the mud run.  I so want to turn tail and run the other direction.  It would be easy.  I think my sister would rather not do it.  There are so many paths between now and the mud run.  Each path has an escape route.  So far I haven't taken any of them.  That's all I can say.